Elite Colleges: Response

I really liked Charlie's pick for this week with the article "Elite Colleges Open New Door to Low-Income Youths" by Sara Rimer in The New York Times. I think that this piece is a great example of something short, sweet, and interesting.

First, the lede is fairly interesting. It could have been done better and more artful, but I also like the fact that it gets down to business quickly. It is a great lead in to the theme and subject of the piece and overall serves its purpose. The piece begins with a close up of Jack, zooms out to a portrait of his family, and zooms out again to the issue at hand: that elite colleges are taking measures to attract and invite low-income individuals. This type of cinematography is quite simple, and again, serves its purpose to use Jack's story as a door into a more widespread issue.

The piece begins to get factual, but the author does a good job of interspersing the boring (but important) details with those "gold coins". For example, after dealing with the facts of the socioeconomic status of students at the elite colleges, the writer inserts a great, funny, true statement about Jack to bring the focus back to him: "The only debt he says he owes is the $41 it cost to make copies of his 107-page honors thesis.

The piece then flashes back quickly, which does a good job of providing personal background information. The flashback is inserted at just the right moment to allow the reader to continue building Jack's character.

A few times I was disappointed in the lack of efficient transitions. For example, the story about Jack's run-in with the police seems out of place.

I like the conversation with Jack near the end of the piece, because I felt like I really got to know him better. I wonder if any of his dialogue wouldn't have been more effective more toward the beginning, though, instead of diving right into the issue and then returning to Jack to finish up.

The kicker, like the lede, is generally interesting, but I do think it could have been done better. The writer uses a good quote from Jack, but it seems like a forced quote that, after getting to know him through the piece, I wouldn't expect him to say - at least not in those exact words. I like the idea of quoting people how they talk, and I didn't get a feel for Jack's voice in any of the quotes used in the narrative.

Overall, I thought this was a great piece among some of the shorter, more brief ones we have read for class. After having read it, I get a pretty good feel for character, I am introduced to a broader issue, and I care. Good pick, Charlie!

Feature: First Draft

Get Up, Get Out, Get Active

by Jenny Thomson

In about 30 minutes per day, it is possible to reduce the risk of a heart attack, diabetes or stroke, reduce the prevalence of anxiety and depression and reduce the occurrence of illnesses. In that same thirty minutes, a contribution can be made toward building healthy bones, muscles, and joints. These 30 minutes can also provide therapeutic benefits for people suffering from physical limitations or chronic disorders. Thirty minutes.

The answer isn’t the elixir of life or the fountain of youth. It’s not a magical cure-all pill or miracle gadget. It’s an hour that can be spent in- or outside the home, alone or in a group, morning or night.

It’s physical activity.

Yet despite the countless obvious and proven benefits, over half of the adults in the United States don’t participate in the recommended amount. The Dietary Guidelines for Americans suggests that 30 minutes of moderate activity, such as brisk walking, at least five days per week is essential in order to maintain a healthy body, both physically and psychologically. Still, most Americans don’t bother to get up and get out. In fact, a report published by the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) estimates that 24% of American adults are inactive during their free time.

This trend is not just affecting adults. Though often ignored because they are assumed to be healthy, college students are not immune to the damage inflicted by lack of exercise. In fact, current research is showing quite the opposite: college students are unhealthy.

A recent study of 937 students conducted at Ohio State University found that the majority of those surveyed were physically inactive or exercised irregularly.

The impact is being felt nationwide. An ongoing study at the University of New Hampshire showed that almost half of male students and almost 30% of female students are considered at least overweight. A report from the University of Albany revealed that 23% of subjects were overweight while 11% were obese.

The negative effects of physical inactivity are staggering. The recent rise in obesity has also increased the prevalence of many chronic disorders, such as diabetes, heart disease and some cancers. Obese individuals also suffer psychologically, from social discrimination and decreased self-esteem.

The list goes on.

The heath problems that result from inactivity are well documented. The CDC has devoted an entire national health objectives program, called Healthy People 2010, to improving the health of Americans by the year 2010.

According to the report, a major problem is that most college students simply aren’t provided with accurate information. The CDC estimates that a mere 36% of university students were given facts about inadequate physical activity.

Compounding the limited instruction about the importance of physical activity is the ever-growing presence of the “obesigenic environment”. More and more, students are spending their time in front of the television or the computer, watching their shows and playing video games. This is not to mention the fast food joint at ever corner whose purpose seems to be to lure penniless, busy college students to buy cheap, quick and most importantly, unhealthy, food.

Just take a stroll up to the Bronco Mall: universities like Western Michigan are even incorporating fast food choices into their meal plans.

Nutrition aside, the main obstacles preventing students from actually partaking in physical activity itself are the lack of convenient facilities and the lack of safe environments in which to be active.

This is where colleges have the ability to fight back.

In the study conducted at Ohio State University, it was found that a major contributor to whether or not students exercise is their own self-efficacy: their motivation to participate despite complications or obstacles, such as the weather. Universities can help motivate students by providing them the opportunity to be active in a pleasant and convenient setting.

It hasn’t taken long for colleges in the Michigan Intercollegiate Athletic Association conference to catch on.

Calvin College in Grand Rapids, Michigan is planning a $35 million dollar expansion to their physical education and athletic facilities. The hope is that by increasing in size and in resources, students, faculty, and staff will have more opportunities to focus on recreation and holistic health.

Adrian College in Adrian, Michigan has built extensive new athletic facilities and added numerous sports teams in an effort to recruit more student-athletes to the school. Adrian’s efforts have resulted in a higher student academic profile and an increased retention rate. The addition of active people to the college has even increased overall morale.

Kalamazoo College is not slow to follow suit, either. During the Spring Quarter Campus Forum, President Eileen Wilson-Oyelaran announced that the next capital campaign for the college will be for a new, upgraded fitness facility. The facility, comprising the current natatorium and the open area just to the east of it, would feature a brand new, 50-meter Olympic-size swimming pool, a number of new dance and yoga studios, and an auxiliary gym for intramural and student use.

The most important step, though, is to educate students about the importance of regular physical activity so that they may make informed choices about becoming and staying active.

This is where Kalamazoo College fell behind. A Nutrition course is offered to students only once per year and required physical education credits only span five of a student’s 10 or more quarters on campus. According to the Dietary Guidelines for Americans, this is just not enough.

And, all it takes is 30 minutes.

**This is not quite 1,000. I have been trying since the end of last week to get the interviews I wanted to start with, but unfortunately with my busy Triathlon planning schedule, I couldn't meet with anyone before I needed to post this. The interviews are now set up, so I will be doing some extensive reportage during the revision period to fill this in. I'm hoping my workshop group will be able to guide me in that process!

Profile: Final Draft

Reliving a Legacy

by Jenny Thomson

Bruce Johnson, K’76, doesn’t walk anymore. He limps.

A recent knee surgery attempting to reverse years of strain left him with a slightly impaired gait.

He still bikes and swims. He is still active at Gazelle Sports, the store he co-founded in downtown Kalamazoo, where he is forced to master a set of stairs each time he travels between the store on the first level and his office above.

He doesn’t talk about it, except to explain why he needs someone to run for him in this year’s Kalamazoo College Triathlon.

“I can bike and swim, but I can’t do the run,” Johnson said.

The Triathlon is an event he looks forward to every year. He won in 1989.

This year, he won’t be able to participate.

Worse still, Johnson can’t play the sport he loves, his passion. It is the same sport that took his knee from him so early, the same that left him a legacy at ‘K’. Ultimate Frisbee.

Johnson’s Frisbee legacy began the summer before he arrived at ‘K’ when he bought a bus ticket to Atlantic Mine, Michigan. Traveling 14 hours to the heart of the Keweenaw, he was attracted to the International Frisbee Tournament.

The event hosted teams from all over the country, as far as California and Boston. People competed in Guts Frisbee and throwing and accuracy events. They also competed in Ultimate.

“There were these guys there from Maplewood, New Jersey. I remember they had these shirts on that said CHS – Columbia High School. These were the guys that invented Ultimate. It seemed like a cool game, so I learned to play,” Johnson said

He had the right idea. A couple guys donning maroon and gold – Calvin College colors – learned to play with him.

Johnson hitchhiked back to ‘K’ with Ultimate on his mind.

He became passionate about starting an Ultimate team. For him, nothing was better than playing a team sport in which he got to use his running ability.

“It looked a lot like running. From the standpoint of running, I can do better than most people. I loved to throw a Frisbee, so to combine my passion of Frisbee throwing with a sport I was good at – I mean, you’re going to like something you’re good at.”

At first, no one knew who he was.

“At a freshman dorm meeting,” Johnson remembers, “I made an announcement that I was starting an Ultimate Frisbee team. I told anyone who wanted to play to stop by my dorm. Later, in the middle of the night, this guy came and knocked on my door – probably drunk, you know – and yelled ‘Hey Frisbee guy, I wanna sign up for your game! Hey Frisbee I wanna play!’ The nickname just stuck.”

Soon, “Fris” was notorious across campus for the Ultimate team and for the discs he bought and sold to students from his usual spot on the quad. The Ultimate Frisbee team kept practicing, and was finally ready, Johnson thought, for a game.

He contacted those guys from Calvin, and ‘K’ played the first Midwestern Ultimate Frisbee game versus Calvin College at Angell Field.

He doesn’t even have to think twice about the date. It was the summer of 1974.

His passion for Frisbee continued throughout his four years at ‘K’. In 1975, Ultimate Frisbee was offered as a physical education credit during the since terminated summer quarter.

Johnson encouraged people to play Frisbee whenever, wherever, and however they could.

“Frisbee golf, the most popular Frisbee sport here at K, is simple,” he wrote in The Index in 1975. “Just pick a tree or a sign, give it a par, and you’re in business. There’s even a 36 hole course here around campus.”

Despite his excellent reputation at ‘K’, Johnson couldn’t find his niche after he graduated in 1976.

When the owner of the local sports store he worked at was looking to sell, Bruce offered to buy.

“I got the loan, and then the owner decided he wanted $5,000 more. I quit on the spot.”

Johnson was stuck. He didn’t want to work at a corporate store that didn’t care about its customers. He wanted to sell the stuff he knew best – sports gear – at a local place where patrons could get quality service.

His persistence paid off. Gazelle Sports was born.

More than 30 years later, Johnson continues to be passionate about athletics at ‘K’.

Through Gazelle Sports, he sponsored one of the “4 and Forever” events and donated – more than once – toward the Homecoming 5K and the Triathlon. The Gazelle sports logo is sported by students all across campus on T-shirts acquired at these events.

“I could tell Bruce was one of those who really enjoyed his time at ‘K’,” said Heather Jach, a Major Gifts Officer at the college. “He is very concerned about his own community, and is willing to do something about it.”

Though he can no longer play himself, Johnson has stayed invested in the Ultimate team.

“I first met [Johnson] when he came to see us play at practice,” said Kyle Shelton, one of the team captains. “He just stood to the side and watched us play. And he got us our jerseys at wholesale, which was pretty cool.”

But most people don’t know how Ultimate at ‘K’ got started, or that the first Ultimate game west of Pennsylvania was played here, or that the Disc Golf course actually has 36 holes. For most ‘K’ students, Johnson’s legacy lives on silently.

“I guess passion is the legacy I left there,” he said.

It is a passion that is evident in everything he recounts. His story lets others relive that legacy. But few, besides those like Jach and Shelton, have had the privilege to hear it.

“Stories go so far,” Jach stressed. “People sharing their experiences help us relate to each another. Stories are such a great part of what happens, but we don’t use that to our advantage, because people want to hear them, including me.”

Mass Extinction: Response

The first thing I noticed about the article in Mother Jones by Julia Whitty was that it didn't seem to follow any of the narrative lines described by Blundell in our reading for this week. I suppose that the entire story follows a common theme - that of the looming possibility of a mass extinction - but many of the topics and the flow of time in the narrative weren't well planned. I didn't like how the mountainous area near the U.S.-Mexico border was brought up at the beginning and then again after the discussion of the deep sea divers. This seemed disjointed to me and I was constantly having to stop and assess where I should orient myself. I think this piece could have benefited from Blundell's advice that a block progression line works really well a lot of the time. Since this piece involves so much from so many different sources, angles, contexts and scenes, I think that it would have been wiser to keep all the information about the same place together in the story.

What I did like about this piece was its focus on science. I thought the writer did a great job of explaining biological systems and concepts, using metaphors to describe the way species relate to one another. Although she did use a few technical terms, I think that overall the texts explained the concepts well enough for any non-science lovers to get a good idea of what the piece was trying to get across. I agree that it is hard to get at the 'emotional heart' of something if that 'something' is about science. What emotion is there in something so concrete? I think that by describing in a lot of detail and painting an elaborate and accurate picture of the issue, Whitty got across the emotional aspect of the story as she intended. After reading, I felt a sense of loss and a sense of urgency to act. I also liked how she brought in the issue of border patrol and building a border securing-fence and how that affects the heart of the issue. I really liked the idea that, "All the new fence will really arrest is the flow of nature's immigrants." This is definitely a big, messy story, attacking the problem from a variety of angles and providing all the information necessary.

I recognized the lede was anecdotal. It brought me into the story well, and by the end, I had a good idea of what the piece would be about. I found the kicker a bit too editorial, and I wonder if the piece wouldn't have been better if the author had left the 'I' out of it, and only brought up 'we' in the sense of 'we human beings' as a species. I agree with Lauren that the writer should have maybe removed herself from the writing process.

I, too, admire this piece's complexity. Good find, Lauren!

Ria Cortesio: Response

I wanted to respond to this feature story because it was the most interesting, in my opinion. I think I can always relate to a story about a woman in a non-traditional sports setting, and looking closely at a piece of writing is much more interesting for me if I enjoyed the narrative. I also thought that Roger make a great analysis in his post and I wanted to build on some of the things that he brought up.

First, I thought the lede was a fairly interesting anecdote, but it definitely could have had some more "umphf" to it. What it did do, though, was give a good introduction to character and theme. I always appreciate stories getting to the meat more quickly.

I also think the nut was interesting enough. It adds substance to the story to flash forward to Ria's possible future as a major-league umpire. However, it seems like somewhat of a stretch to me at the same time. I wonder, would there be a story there if the writer didn't reach so far for a newsworthy theme? Nonetheless, as I said in the first paragraph, the subject matter is interesting to me, and I was again glad to see the writer get to the point so quickly.

The middle moves well, and the only major flaws in structure I could point out were the *maybe* important details that seemed to be out of place (as Roger commented on his blog). For example, the story explaining her wry sense of humor doesn't really seem to fit where it is inserted. It is an interesting and telling anecdote, but the placement could have been more carefully scrutinized. I was also pleased throughout the piece with the many sources interviewed on the subject. The quotes were decently placed and worked well in the narrative. It might have been interesting, though, to explore the other side of the story: people that think that only men should be out on the field. I also liked how the specifics of how one becomes an umpire were incorporated into the piece. For me, fact is a good edition to pieces like this, and kept my attention steady just before the turn.

The kicker, like the lede, is interesting enough, but could have been spiced up as well. It ends on another theme that wasn't touched on during the piece: that of women role models for young girls, especially in sports and positions where women aren't that prominent or noticed. I don't think it fits in with the tone and theme of the piece to bring something like that in right at the end, so the kicker should have ended on a different note.

Overall, the piece worked fairly well for me. The short paragraphs, brief anecdotes, and well-placed quotes kept the narrative moving along smoothly. The "parts" of the narrative were clearly laid out in an organized structure that was easy to follow. For me, the piece wasn't as "big" or "messy" as I imagined a "big, messy story" would be. This seemed more like a profile at times. It would be interesting to hear other peoples' thoughts on the issue; specifically, what could have been done to make the piece more "big" and "messy"?

Profile: Writing Process

I found the writing process to be actually somewhat fun! Since we finished class on Thursday, I was not looking forward to reportage and writing before the deadline Tuesday. I had a million things to do this past weekend (as always) and I honestly wasn't sure that I would be able to fit everything in. But, I tried my hardest, and I got into quick contact with Bruce and set up some times when I could observe and/or interview him. I was able to conduct two interviews with Bruce and an interview with Heather, from the Office of Advancement, before I sat down to write. I was scared at first that even though I got some good interviews, I still didn't really have a theme for my story. I got the idea to talk to Heather from a whim that I should take the story in that direction, and I think that it was a good idea to trust my instincts.

I still wasn't looking forward to writing, though!

The task seemed quite daunting when I was staring at my notes, which ended up amounting to over 10 pages. I tried to create an outline, as Jon Franklin suggested, but from what I had, I couldn't find a problem and a resolution (or at least I thought I couldn't find one). So I ended up just reading over my notes one more time and then sitting down to write. Surprisingly, the words came quickly, and I recognized a theme for myself after only a few minutes. From there, I thought that everything came together really well, despite the fact that I didn't have an outline. I could tell I was writing toward a common theme, which kept me going. I finished the piece and was happy with what I wrote as a draft.

I am looking forward to workshop because I got so much excellent feedback last time.

Profile: First Draft

Reliving a Legacy

by Jenny Thomson

“Have you heard the story about the runner guy?” Bruce Johnson asks me, smiling.

“No, I haven’t,” I reply. “What runner guy?”

It’s 7:00 AM on a Saturday morning, and Bruce, Kalamazoo College alumnus and Co-founder of Gazelle Sports, recruited me to help him set up the “world’s longest aid station”. The Borgess Half-Marathon is this morning, and 2,000 runners are going to be rejuvenated, resuscitated, and reenergized as they speed by mile three hidden somewhere along the Kalamazoo Mall.

Bruce is obviously used to this, because I yawn as he gives me one of those life lessons that is sneakily concealed in a story about “some guy”.

From what I gather, “some guy” started running in his late 30’s or early 40’s. He was a decent runner for his age, achieving 32 minutes for ten-kilometers. As he got older, he became slower, so he stopped running. He figured that if he couldn’t run fast, he shouldn’t run at all.

Bruce Johnson, I realized, is still running. Despite the fact that he recently underwent knee replacement surgery, he planned on loading eight banquet tables and sixteen jugs of water into a van himself. He never doubted that he could do it. The “world’s longest aid station” is a Borgess tradition, a legacy started by Gazelle Sports and maintained by Bruce and numerous volunteers.

Bruce Johnson knows from experience, you can’t forget a legacy. You have to keep telling your story until everyone knows it.

Bruce’s legacy began in the summer of 1973 when he bought a bus ticket to Atlantic Mine, Michigan. Traveling 14 hours to the heart of the Keweenaw, Bruce was attracted to the International Frisbee Tournament, hosted there since 1958.

Something must have caught his attention to drag him close to 500 miles, to a little known town, to attend a little known event, to participate in a little known sport.

The tournament was started by a local family, who, horsing around with a Pluto Platter flying disc, invented the game of Guts Frisbee. The cutthroat game pins two teams opposite each other, each one zipping the Frisbee at the other. Teams score by making a difficult throw that isn’t caught. Scoring is prevented when the receiving team catches the disc.

The event hosted teams from all over the country, as far as California and Boston. Besides Guts, people competed in throwing and accuracy events. They also competed in Ultimate. That was what really got Bruce excited.

“There were these guys there from Maplewood, New Jersey. I remember they had these shirts on that said CHS – Columbia High School. These were the guys that invented Ultimate. At that time, Ultimate was only played on the east coast. It seemed like a cool game, so I learned to play.”

Bruce had the right idea. A couple guys donning maroon and gold – Calvin College colors – learned to play with him. They kept in touch, and Bruce hitchhiked home with Ultimate on his mind.

He kept in touch with those guys from Calvin, and Kalamazoo CollegeCalvin College at Angell Field. played its first game versus

Bruce does some quick math to figure out the date. I can’t believe he remembers. It was the summer of 1974.

After returning from study abroad in Munster, Germany, Bruce changed his major.

“I was on campus for five quarters in a row. I only got to go home for a day or two. It was really hard.” Never one to miss an opportunity, Bruce used his presence on campus to recruit freshmen for the Ultimate team.

Little did he know that his recruiting efforts would soon pay off.

In 1979, Bruce attended the wedding of one of his younger recruits. He sat down at a table, and everyone moved away, except for one girl – the groom’s sister. They got to talking. She worked at The Athlete’s Shop in Ann Arbor.

Once again, Bruce didn’t miss the opportunity. He called her soon after the wedding and set up a visit to Ann Arbor. He spoke with her store manager and dropped off his résumé.

They called him on Monday and offered him assistant manager.

Bruce was there for four months before the stores were sold. Knowledgeable about running and retail, Bruce was eventually put in charge of the Kalamazoo and Grand Rapids stores, now under new ownership.

When the owner was looking to sell, Bruce offered to buy the store.

“I got the loan, and then the owner decided he wanted $5,000 more. I quit on the spot.”

Scoffing the possibility of working at MC Sports or another corporate store, Bruce began brainstorming. His friends wanted to buy their gear at a local store that had good service. He knew he could deliver. At that moment, Gazelle Sports was born.

Through Gazelle Sports, Bruce ensures that legacy can continue at Kalamazoo College. You would be hard-pressed to find a student on campus who doesn’t know about Gazelle’s. The store’s logo is sported by students all across campus on T-shirts acquired at different college-sponsored events.

“I could tell Bruce was one of those who really enjoyed his time at ‘K’,” says Heather Jach, a Major Gifts Officer at the college. “He is very concerned about his own community, and is willing to do something about it.”

But legacies aren’t just monetary.

“Stories go so far. People sharing their experiences help us relate to each another. Stories are such a great part of what happens, but we don’t use that to our advantage, because people want to hear them, including me,” Jach said.

Bruce’s story has lasted, even today. The Ultimate team can be seen practicing almost every day. Students are often spotted tossing discs across Academy, hoping to make par on one of the campus’s Disc Golf holes – the very same that Bruce set up 30 years ago.

“Passion is the legacy I left there,” Bruce says.

It is a passion that is evident in everything he recounts. Bruce’s story helped me relive his legacy. And, he loves to tell it. You should listen.

Setting a Good Example

This really has nothing to do with the topic we're on currently, but I found this article in the Detroit News about how Adrian College is boosting attendance - and academic performance - by actively recruiting athletes & improving athletic facilities (although it could maybe be considered a profile of a place, but it's probably more of a feature, right?).

Athletes are pumping up Adrian College

As an athlete at 'K', I have felt for a long time that such a measure would greatly improve the overall community on campus - athletes and non-athletes alike. Focusing on nutrition, health, and overall wellness, in my opinion, always breeds smart, fun-loving, engaged, happy people. Adrian College has set an excellent example as a small, liberal-arts college doing something about their 'downward spiral'. This is an example that I feel that 'K' can and should follow.

Thankfully, the next capital campaign of the college is probably going to be for a new/improved campus fitness facility - and not just for athletes. All students can benefit from a little active stress-relief, and until the facility can be built, the campus should be brainstorming ways we can ameliorate the situation in the near future. GO HORNETS!

Profile: Update

I'm not going to lie, I'm having the hardest time coming up with a topic for my profile piece. Everything I come up with is either highly inaccessible, not interesting, or just plain stupid.

I really don't even know where to start, so I would appreciate any thoughts, tips, or tricks that I could use to help get that 'glimmer' of an idea.

Thanks everyone!

Jamestown, Virginia: Profile

Jamestown, Virginia: How To Make History Cool

I chose this piece because it seemed to be an interesting profile of a place, rather than of a person. While perusing the news this weekend, I realized that many of the profiles in the major magazines have to do with VA Tech. Although a lot of these pieces were interesting, I didn't want to overdo it! Marin already posted the link to an excellent profile in the NY Times, so I decided to go in quite a different direction. Plus, we haven't talked about profiling a place as much as we have talked about profiling a person, so I thought that this piece could at least serve as the basis for some riveting class discussion! ;-)

I thought that the topic of this piece was very interesting. The use of the location of Jamestown, VA as the basis for a discussion about the modern lack of interest in history brought meaning to the piece. I think the piece is well structured, beginning with information about present Jamestownian discoveries, switching gears to provide history about the fort/city, and returning to a present day description of the interesting sites, interwoven with more historical background and context. The background information about Jamestown was obviously extensive, yet the important details were chosen by the author. It was also presented in a way that dispelled myth by interweaving tale and fact, which I thought was a great technique.

There is not an extensive use of quotes, but I the insight provided by archaeologist Kelso adds a personal element to the piece which helps get the reader excited. The storytelling in the piece is well-done, but I think that the main thing it is lacking is detailed physical description. The writer does a good job of generally describing the new exhibits, but I would have liked to know more about the city itself: what did it look like 400 years ago, what does it look like now, etc.?

Despite what I saw as a lack of bold imagery, I thought the portrayal of the city's history as "murky and menacing" was a good 'evocative' detail and definitely accomplished the piece's goal: to make history cool!

It was evident that the writer had simple access to this material, because it was based mostly on observation of a location. There was only one personal interview and one book cited in the piece. From what I see here, I am guessing that the reportage for profiling a place tends to be much simpler than that necessary for profiling a person. However, personal profiles tend to be much more interesting, in my opinion, so I guess there is a trade-off!

Story of a Gun

I also found this article in Newsweek about a 9mm handgun, the weapon used at VA Tech. I thought it was interesting, and I recommend taking a look at it. I wasn't sure if a piece like this would qualify as a profile, but I thought it was an interesting angle to take in writing about what happened at VA Tech and worth a read and maybe quick discussion in class.

Enjoy!

Personal Narrative: Final Draft

Michigan has always been my home, and I am rooted there like the white pine the state calls its official tree. I mean, these trees are amazing! They can grow for hundreds of years, and their vast underground foundation is so strong, a tornado can barely take them out. I’d like to think that’s how I am: grounded in and nourished by Michigan soil.

When I started applying to graduate school, I knew I would be faced with the possibility of leaving my home state. A big decision like that is scary, but I wanted a big change. I had been in one place for too long, and I was itching to be transplanted, thirsty for an adventure in a new place.

I spent hours researching possible schools. I picked the University of Texas, Indiana University, Northwestern University, and the University of North Carolina. I had to apply to the University of Michigan – of course – to appease my family, many of them alumni.

It was funny how much I was reminded of the first time I applied to college. I was accepted at Kalamazoo College, among other universities, and in the second semester of my senior year of high school, I spent a weekend visiting campus. My second day there, in the cafeteria, a girl on the cross country team asked what year I was.

“I’m actually a prospective student,” I told her.

“Oh, wow!” she exclaimed, surprised. “I thought you were a junior!”

My quick acceptance into Kalamazoo life gave me all the information I needed to make a decision. I knew it was the place for me.

I jumped at the chance to visit each graduate school as soon as I was invited.

***

First was a visit to Austin, Texas. Leave it to the first experience to brand a lasting impression onto the brain. Texas barbeque, 6^th Street, jalapeños, the Capitol, and Shiner Bock all meld together in my head into one great memory of the weekend.

“You are my favorite recruit,” one of the graduate students confided in me before I left.

The instant feeling of acceptance was amazing. The significance of that one voice reminded me of my visit to Kalamazoo. It made Austin feel like home.

Still, my friend Erin told me, “You know you’re going to go to Michigan.”

I didn’t understand her reasoning, but her comment lingered in the back of my mind all winter long.

I also visited Chapel Hill, North Carolina. I remember mostly the amazing woody, mildew smell in the air. It’s the smell of summers, hanging out with my sisters at our aunt’s plantation house. It made Chapel Hill feel like home.

Next time, I didn’t have to travel far: Ann Arbor, Michigan. I approached the visit with a less-than-positive outlook. I hadn’t been back to Ann Arbor since I spent the past summer there, and I felt that I already knew everything about the place. I was confident there couldn’t be anything new to experience.

I was wrong, though. I found a new bar, and a new friend. Remy is a first-year graduate student and a smart, bubbly blonde, not unlike my friend Erin. She and I hit it off right away.

“What made you choose Michigan?” I asked her at one point.

“I don’t know,” she replied. “I just knew it was the place for me.”

I guess I had forgotten that Ann Arbor felt like home.

***

I was accepted to Indiana first, and began to get anxious when I didn’t hear from anywhere else.

“If any of the schools don’t accept you, I might have to punch them in the face,” my dad, always the jokester, wrote me in an e-mail that week.

“Yeah, right,” I responded.

After all the letters arrived, my dad emerged the victor. I was accepted at every school I applied to.

I knew I had to decide, but how? The logical scientist in me made a list. Chapel Hill and Austin had the advantage of good weather. Check. Michigan and Chapel Hill were ranked highest. Check. The faculty at Indianapolis was the most interesting. Check. Wait a minute! The faculty at Michigan, Chapel Hill, Austin, and Northwestern was just as engaging. Scratch that. The list wasn’t helping anything.

I wanted the decision to be my own, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what Erin had told me. I still didn’t understand how she knew I would go to Michigan. It made me uneasy that I couldn’t agree with her, yet couldn’t disagree, either.

All at once, it hit me. I finally understood the significance of Remy’s remark, the very words I had pronounced four years earlier: I just knew Michiganfelt like home because it reminded me of Michigan. At Michigan, I wouldn’t have to be reminded. I would still be experiencing. was the place for me. Every other place

I also realized that adventure is not necessarily starting a new life in a new city. For me, it’s exploring new things in an old city and sharing old pastimes with new friends. I want to show my dad the new bar I found. I want to go to Michigan football games and drink hot cider with my new roommates, just like my dad and I used to do.

And anyway, transplanted white pines won’t survive without proper care, their roots are simply too deep.

Bringing Down the House: Response

When I first read the profile on Jennifer Hudson by Annie Leibovitz, I really enjoyed it, so I knew I wanted to delve into it further to examine the content and the craft. Upon subsequent reading, the narrative seemed to be a good example of a profile based on some of the 'technical' readings I completed this week.

The piece has a great structure, and it is obvious that the writer did her fair share of reporting and background searching. The lede brings the reader into the arena of the piece, introducing the 'who' of the profile by presenting details such as the description of audience reactions to Dreamgirls. The reader can already get an idea of who the character is before the details of her life are laid out.

The narrative then continues chronologically, pausing only to take a step back and describe Hudson's background, life, and 'rise to the top'. The excellent use of detail and fact about the character's life interwoven with interview is evident. In fact, the use of interview throughout the piece is quite effective in presenting other's views of Hudson, which as Malcolm Gladwell states in Telling True Stories, is usually where some of the best material comes from.

The writer is careful to include description, when presenting the dresses Hudson fitted, for example. Even the small details, like indicating that they were riding in an SUV, for example, help paint the entire picture of the character and her life. The writer is also keen to the importance of describing the place as well as the person. Her description of Hudson's fatigue in La Guardia rush hour traffic would not have been as effective had the locale not been included.

One of the main things I liked about the piece was the interwoven story lines. In addition to getting to know the character of Jennifer Hudson, the reader was also introduced to the 'Hollywood life' through the various dress fittings. The theme of African-American talent was also interspersed throughout the piece. The telling detail, though, was the introduction of the notebook of de la Renta sketches. Through careful description, the reader comes to understand the importance of this sketchbook to Hudson and it signifies how dream-like the award season has been for her. It also helps convey Hudson's down-to-earth personality; she is so fixed on the sketch not because she is a Hollywood princess, but because this is such an exciting first-time experience for her.

That detail helped answer the questions that Jacqui Banaszynski indicated that every reader should ask in Telling True Stories: How would you characterize this person?, and At the end, do you know whether or not you like this person?

I felt that could positively answer both questions, making the piece successful. I could concretely identify Hudson as a very real, humble, young woman, and I knew that I definitely liked her a lot after I finished the narrative. Great pick!

Personal Narrative: First Draft

How do you define home? Some would say it’s “where the heart is”, still others would say it’s wherever you pay the rent. Maybe it’s a combination of both. In any case, I can answer that question quite easily. I have spent my entire life in Michigan, and am rooted there for good like the white pine the state calls its official tree.

Here’s a question that may be a bit more difficult to answer: How do you choose where “home” will be? It’s easy for people that get sent to work in a certain city; they don’t have a choice. As a graduate school applicant, I didn’t have this luxury. I had to choose where I would call home for the next five or more years of my life.

When I started to apply, I spent hours researching possible schools. I was meticulous and deliberate about my choices. Two top-ranked schools, two mediocre, a fall back option. They all had to be in cool cities; I was not going to spend a good portion of my life in Iowa (sorry Iowans). At that point, I was confident about what I was doing. I thought for sure I wouldn’t get into either of the top-tier programs.

“I’ll probably just go to Indiana,” I told everyone.

As usual, everyone but me was right. I was accepted at every school I applied to.

Naturally, everyone told me I was lucky. I had options. I didn’t care about options. I wanted them to make the decision for me; to make my life a little easier. I couldn’t decide, because I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I made the wrong decision.

Thankfully, I had had the chance to visit each university. I held out the hope that there could only be one “best fit” and that by visiting, I would discover which place that was. This should make things easier, right? Wrong.

First was a visit to Austin, Texas. I was blown away by the city and the university. Leave it to the first experience to brand a lasting impression onto the brain. Everything about the place was perfect.

“I don’t even need to visit the other schools; I know I’m going to UT,” I told everyone.

I was committed to more visits, though, and next up was Indianapolis, Indiana. I was blown away. Never would I have expected the faculty to be such a fun group. I knew if I went there, I would be in good hands.

The third time I didn’t have to travel far: Ann Arbor, Michigan. I was blown away (notice the repetition). Michigan seemed to have it all: cool faculty and cool students that were as much a part of the school as the school is part of Ann Arbor. As a scientist, the symbiotic relationship resonated perfectly with me.

“You’re going to go to Michigan, it’s where you belong,” everyone told me.

The remaining two visits were no different. Northwestern University and Chapel Hill, North Carolina were both as equally mind-blowing. In no way did I believe it possible that there could be five “best fit” schools, but I knew I could see myself succeeding at each university and enjoying the atmosphere of the location while doing it.

It was at this point when I started to panic. I had to make a decision by a certain deadline and I wasn’t entirely sure I could do it. I would lean toward one of the schools, and then begin to doubt myself. This was hard! I usually know exactly what to do and can defend my actions in the face of criticism. This was a completely different ballgame. In fact, I was on a completely different playing field.

The logical scientist in me then began to make a list. Chapel Hill and Austin had the advantage of good weather. Check. Michigan and Chapel Hill were ranked highest. Check. The faculty at Indianapolis was the most interesting. Check. Wait a minute! The faculty at Michigan, Chapel Hill, Austin, and Northwestern was just as cool. Scratch that. The list wasn’t helping anything.

As a last ditch effort, I grabbed an easy read (Janet Evanovich’s Full Speed) and did some soul-searching-like thinking. I thought about how I felt about what I knew. I thought about how I felt about what I experienced. I thought about how I felt. There was nothing meticulous or deliberate about it. For once, I threw logical out the door. This time, I wouldn’t be able to defend my action with anything rational, and I was okay with that. It was all based on, well, feelings.

As usual, everyone but me was right. They already knew Michigan is where I belonged. They already knew I fit in perfectly in the Running Capital of America. They already knew I bled maize and blue. They knew what it took me months to figure out.

After a couple hours of thinking, I finally realized what I had probably known all along. Thinking about home is never about the tangible. Home is a feeling. Home will be where it already is. Home has to be where it already is. I’m going to be a Wolverine.

Interesting Blog

I discovered this blog on accident when I typed in the link to Marin's blog incorrectly. I think it is pretty interesting, and raises some questions about narrative journalism, and namely, storytelling. The author discusses some of the ways storytelling is encountered in life, and what makes a good storyteller (or a bad storyteller). The blog is fairly opinionated, and therefore raises the question of accuracy. I have no idea who writes this, and no one really can. So, you need to take the information with a grain of salt, keeping in mind that it might be some cuckoo person in Fiji, for example. Despite this, I think some of the ideas that came out of reading this blog were consistent with what I have learned in class and in the readings, and I think it's worth a look!

Storytelling - The Untold Story

Personal Narrative: Writing Process

So, about the writing process...

It went/is going surprisingly better than I thought it would. At first, it really sucked. I sat and stared at a blank word document for about 20 minutes before I actually put one word down on the page. I had had a couple of ideas in my head, but nothing concrete. I kept thinking that if I were to write a personal narrative about myself, the idea would come to me right away. It's about me and I know me best, right? It was definitely harder than I thought to come up with a topic, though. At first I tried to think of things that were important in my life, like my grandpa for example. Some events that I have been through with him have definitely changed me. But I knew if I wrote about that, it would end up being more of a profile about Big G (he deserves a great big profile, so maybe that's an idea for the next assignment). I thought about the comments on my last post. Maybe I could write about my experience getting a tattoo. But I knew if I wrote about that, it would end up being a lot like the piece we read on the same topic. I wanted something original, something unique to me.

Then I kept thinking that maybe I was like Reid. I have been through some life-changing-like events in my life, but maybe I'm void of emotion, or immune to it, because I didn't think any of those things had really changed my life. Maybe I'm just being silly.

So, I began to write with one of the non-concrete ideas I had in my head, which was actually something that Marin made me think about in her comment about my first post. She brought up my notation of my logical scientist quality. The first thing that came to mind was my usually logical decision-making process and how it was recently challenged. I took that and ran with it. Once a couple sentences were down, I realized that I had had this concrete idea all along. I think I wrote/am writing a piece about something that definitely changed my life (or at least my outlook on certain things).

It was really surprising to me how fast everything came out and how well it came together as I was writing. It also surprised me how quickly the first draft was realized. I can already recognize the turn in my story. I also think the voice sounds like me, but I'm going to have to read it out loud and rework it a bit just to make sure. I can definitely recognize that the flow is characteristic of me and of my logicality, with a few twists thrown in to make it interesting. I had mentioned that I would take the example of the flow from Badge of Courage and make it mine, and I think I did that fairly well. The only thing I'm still struggling with is the development of my 'I' character. I think I've got the hang of it, but I still don't know if I've developed me enough, or too much, etc. That will take some reworking as well before I'm satisfied.

Overall, this process is fun, to be honest. I am looking forward to posting my draft on Tuesday and getting feedback from my group on what I need to do to make it better.

Badge of Courage: Response

I really enjoyed reading this personal narrative from Newsweek My Turn Online by Deborah Lewis. It provoked several questions and I felt like I could relate her structure and style to some of the things I have been learning about in our more 'technical' readings. It is a well-written piece of personal narration! The first thing I noticed was her development of the 'I' character. I was impressed how effectively the writer accomplished describing herself enough so that the reader can understand some of her background without reading other useless facts about her life. She first presents her experience with cancer briefly without really making a judgment of the situation. She then intermittently provides more details about her life where they are appropriate in the narration: age, family, etc.

The development of the 'I' character is all done near the beginning of the article, and the writer moves on to use facts about her situation to tell her story. I felt that even the factual information was able to convey a sense of emotion and feeling in the story, without the writer having to explicitly state her emotions and feelings, which I thought was consistent with what Norman Sims described as good literary journalism.

I could also easily recognize the writer's voice throughout the piece, which was intimate: mocking, humorous, frank. For example, she writes about how easy it was to choose a spot for her tattoo because the aging process had "set in everywhere else." The statement wasn't judgmental, but rather straightforward and self-mocking about the state of the writer's body at that age. The writer's voice conveys a contentment with her situation; she acknowledges the hardships she has had to face and does not down-play them, but at the same time, she is happy to be where she is now. The frank, subtly joking language used in this piece was therefore very effective in conveying this sentiment.

I liked the flow of the narrative, because it was chronological, progressive and logical (and I am a scientist). The writer flowed from one situation to the next, without making use of the technique of digression that I had noticed in some other personal pieces we read this week. She begins with the background of her cancer, moving to the first logical question of 'where do I put a tattoo?', then on to 'what do I get a tattoo of?'. The writer does use effective intermittent placement of the present tense in a mostly past-tense narrative to break up the flow, though. The last sentence, which transitions into the present tense, works well to signify the 'rite of passage' that getting a tattoo symbolized.

At the turning point, the writer finally decided on what her tattoo would be and the resulting significance it would have. I liked how earlier in the piece, the writer suggests that she needs the 'all-caps YES' to go ahead with a design, but later, she doesn't explicitly state that the Concord Bridge was an 'all-caps YES' to her; rather, it is implied and up to the reader to envision how relieved the writer was to find something that was perfectly symbolic for her.

This piece was most appealing to me because I have a tattoo as well. I am not a rash person, but getting a tattoo was one of the most rash things I have ever done. I actually worked out the design first, creating something that is symbolic for me and extremely personal. Then, the placement came to me in a dream, and everything came together. I got a tattoo the next day. I could relate to the writer in terms of this process and was impressed by her recollection of the event!

I think that I will take from this article the writer's use of flow. I am a logical person, and the way this narrative flow seemed like it would fit my voice. Also, her varied use of tenses was very effective upon closer reading, and I think that I could use a technique like that to my advantage in a narrative that has a scientific-method-like flow to break it up, without having to completely digress and insert anecdotes that aren't chronological.